I had a wonderful plan

I have recently started dating after my divorce. I thought it would be pretty interesting and fun. But what I realize is that I do not like dating. I do not like all the pretense and game playing... I thought at a certain age we mature and act differently and respect peoples feelings but it's apparently not so.

Date number one: nice guy, nice conversation we go to dinner and we have a really nice time. We email and text message and its a nice begining until a few days later I get a call from his wife! Wtf?

Date number two: nice guy I talk to him a little longer than the first. I am trying to do all of my homework so that I may avoid any other horrible phone calls. We meet and go listen to a really good blues band. We talk for hours and I really enjoyed his company. Heres my problem, I don't know what to do next? Do I call or not? Do I email or text? And if he doesn't respond what do I do? Now I have seen the movie "He's just not that into you"... So I have no problems with just having that one nice date and moving on. But how do you know if it seems like they like you? And what does that even look like? Ugggh I hate dating!

So because I am hyper I sent a text the next evening... And then I sent like three more... I think that may have been too much. So the next day no response I send a text in the evening and he tells me that he will call me when he gets of work... so at 1106 no call and I think it will be really dumb if I text again. So I will chalk this one up as a loss but it did let me know that it was possible for me to enjoy someones company and have a good time in that moment. Now I need to stop over thinking everything...geeez this is tuff

Dating

So dating in 2010 is really interesting. There are all kinds of online dating services,social networks, bars,clubs etc. To be honest I find it all a bit overwhelming. So with great hesitation I sign up for an online dating service. I get a few messages and it's seems pretty fun. Then I start to read peoples pages "looking for fling" "married and looking" "If you just want to talk bypass my page". Wow, so I should know, just by looking at your two paragraphs of gibberish if I want to date you? I have come up with this plan, which I think is simply genius. I don't want to date anyone I meet on the site, I want to be their wing-chick.





Have you ever seen that attractive man or women out with their partner and think "I'm prettier/more handsome than the person they're with?" Its not a nice thought, but I have been guilty of it once or twice. The people I meet on the site I want to hang out with, and help them meet other girls. Now you may say "What is in it for you?" Well, I will tell you :) Just as the women will check him out other guys will check me out. See my plan coming together? I feel as though I am much better in person than with all this online stuff. So you see it is a win/win situation. I get to make new friends, meet new people without the pressure of it being a date.I know you are thinking that it will never work, but friends, it will. I am going to try it this weekend.





I am meeting a guy this weekend. Handsome, muscular but not my type. I like skinny guys lol. Really I do. So I will be dressed to the hilt. sexy shoe, dress, fresh manicure and pedicure. I will strut and be cute and leave my new friend alone just long enough for him to get the attention of a few women. I will scope out who is checking him out and invite them to have a drink. Now hopefully my friend will do the same thing for me in return... Haven't worked out all the details but I think it will work. I have more planning to do...

conversation between friends

I had a wonderful conversation with a friend today. We are both currently going through similar situation in our relationships. He says to me "Why are women so complicated?". I said women aren't complicated they just simply are what they are and the sooner you accept that the better off you will be. There are certain social rules or practices that you find when dealing with women. Women will lie about many things in the beginning of a relationship with the hopes of the man not noticing the changes after they happen. Lie may be a harsh word...Women have a tendency to "morph" into what they think a man is looking for in hopes of winning his affection. When the newness of the relationship wains the true personality comes out. Then the man is looking confused saying why have you changed? The truth be known, men know women do this. And they do a similar form of this when they are trying to win your affection with attention,dinners, back rubs gifts and romance. And women know that men do this also. But we all act like we are surprised when it happens. Why is that?

In the age of casual dating people often get their signals mixed up or confused. So many popular songs saying that they just want to borrow you, or be a buddy. The truth is some people are just not able to handle that type of relationship. Somewhere, somehow someone is going to develope feelings, catch feelings if you will. We say that like someone is catching a virus. It is a natural progression for people to develope feelings for those they share a connection with, close contact or close proximity. I have and maintain relationships with the important people in my life because we share contact, time and proximtiy. I have "fallen out of love" because I lost connection,communication,physical contact and intamacy with my partner.

I watched the movie"He's just not that into you" and loved it. The movie doesn't say anything new it just ask you to look at signs and SEE THEM. If someone doesn't return your phone call's and says it because s/he just to busy,she/he's just not that into you. If you are angry and upset with the a person and after they see it: the tears,runny nose,frustration... and they are unaffected. She/He's just not that into you. Just looking at those two examples everyone knows that you will make time to call if you want to. If its in the car on the way to work, on the way home,in the bathroom,after lunch or right before you go to bed. It takes two mins. If you want to you will and if you just don't feel like being bothered you won't. If you love someone and they are a blubbering mess, even if you know they are going overboard you show some concern. Even if you just give them a hug or text them to "stop trippin"

So in closing :) we all know that we both lie, we both change after we are in the relationship. After the intial demasking you have to decide whether or not you want to stay in the situation you are in. It would be so much easier if we be honest from the beginning. It would save so much time and energy. But we won't. So lets continue to buy cars and weaves we cant afford,push up bras and bodymajic suits(for men and women)and hope it all works out in the end.